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The past few weeks were rough. I could barely recognize myself because I was getting inattentive to my self-care needs. I kept saying that life is so unfair, so why would I bother recovering from the emotional and mental pain I was dealing with. I would question myself why does it have to happen to me. I’m pretty sure I didn’t do anything extremely wrong to deserve this. But then again, I would never know the reason for all of this.

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The start of this unwanted emotion was when I got a miscarriage. Everything was fine back then, and I was so happy to get pregnant that I focus solely on taking care of myself and my baby. As much as I know, I visited my regular checkups, and I didn’t miss any of them. I also made sure to take whatever vitamins the doctor requires, and I also pay close attention to what I eat. Overall, I managed to do everything right according to what experts suggest.

But despite all the efforts I put up with taking care of my physical, mental, and emotional health, an unexpected event still took place. I remember just having a cramp, and then suddenly I was bleeding. At first, I didn’t think it would be that bad since I have heard that most pregnant women experienced that sort of thing. But when I realized that the bleeding is not stopping, I immediately called my husband for help. Right of the bat, we went to the hospital for an emergency.

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The Reason Behind The Miscarriage

On our way to the hospital, I thought thoroughly of the reason for this bad experience because I couldn’t think of anything as much as I wanted to put up negativity in it. I was pretty damn sure it was not stressed because I wasn’t dealing with any emotional and mental struggle. The people around me are supportive and caring, and I have never encountered a stressful situation over the last couple of months that I was pregnant. I was extremely mind-boggled as to why I might be having a miscarriage.

Fast forward to the result after the doctor’s examination; they told me that the reason for my miscarriage was abnormal chromosomes. Seriously, it wasn’t the thing I expected, but it somehow validated every inch of my doubts and fears. The doctors said that the baby inside my womb got damaged because the fetus stopped developing. Unfortunately, there is no way to prevent chromosome problems from happening.

That led me into a roller coaster of emotions. I felt that I was cheated with. I thought that all my efforts and sacrifices were useless because the child inside my womb would give up on me at the end of the day. I was not too fond of the idea that my body or whatever is in it failed me. I felt extremely devastated at that moment, but I did not cry. I was brave enough to handle the situation, and I accepted that the baby was already gone.

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The Agonizing Emotional And Mental Suffering

Just like any other day, I continued to do my stuff. I prepared my mindset to get through whatever life may bring. But as days went by, I felt genuinely lonely, scared, and hopeless. My miscarriage was hunting me, and I couldn’t seem to focus on what was in front of me. I got dragged down with so much hate and pain that I never knew where the hell came from. I was hurting, but I couldn’t tell where it hurts. I was constantly finding myself crying over nothing, and I could not recognize my actions anymore. I began to lose control over myself, and I became so down and depressed.

It was seriously the worse feeling that I have felt over the past years of my existence. I’ve never felt anything like this where I almost ended up wanting to end it all. I constantly thought about self-harm to get rid of the pain. I am mentally and emotionally unable to process anything around me, and it scared the heck out of me.

The thing that merely added fuel to the fire is when other people told me to get over it. I wish I could. I genuinely wish it was that simple. I know that there are women out there who can go on and continue with their lives after a miscarriage. But for me, it seemed quite impossible. I am not overreacting. I felt stuck in a loop of mental and emotional torture, which others couldn’t understand.

My miscarriage was an unexpected thing that I never thought I would have to deal with for a long and exhausting period. I might not be okay right now, but I know what I am currently enduring was valid.

 

Besides your baby, you should also anticipate the other things that come with pregnancy, such as weight gain and mood swings. Your body will be undergoing many changes, physically and mentally. If you’re worried about going through these, don’t worry because there’s a reasonable explanation to these symptoms.

Pregnancy Hormones

Even on regular days, your body has lots of hormones because these chemicals help regulate bodily functions. However, during pregnancy, there are hormones excreted by your glands to help develop your baby.

In the first trimester, your body produces the human chorionic gonadotropin hormone (hCG) to help create the placenta. Too high hCG levels may mean that you have multiple pregnancies, while low hCG translates to placenta development problems. Researchers have also found a link between hCG and nausea in pregnant women.

Human placental lactogen (hPL) is another pregnancy hormone. Its role is in metabolism regulation and insulin resistance. With these roles, hPL helps your placenta get as many nutrients as your baby needs. This hormone is also a simulator for breastfeeding and lactation.

In the first trimester, you will notice yourself become more moody and anxious. These symptoms are because of the spiking levels of estrogen and progesterone.

These female hormones are commonly present at high levels during menstruation. But once pregnant, these hormone levels will rise dramatically, until they reach their peak in the third trimester. But what else do these hormones do to your body and brain?

Effects Of Estrogen

Estrogen is one of the hormones found in every woman. This hormone regulates your menstrual cycle, controls your cholesterol levels, and protects your bones. Besides these, studies have found estrogen’s effect on premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and perimenopausal depression.

However, researchers are yet to determine the exact connection of estrogen with mental health disorders. As of now, studies have only found a link between estrogen and cortisol, a stress hormone regulating your fight-or-flight response.

Estrogen can also affect the production of your happy hormone, endorphin. Studies suggest a link between estrogen fluctuation and mood disorders, but not between estrogen itself and mood disorders.

So the connection between estrogen levels and your mental health persists after pregnancy. Post-birth, the ultra-high levels of estrogen and progesterone hormones drop to the normal levels, and your body may take this as a hormonal fluctuation.

Because of this, your mental health may be affected as you experience mood swings and difficulty sleeping (insomnia). You can also have feelings of loneliness, anger, and anxiety. All of these are symptoms of what is called postpartum depression.

The loss of sleep can also increase cortisol levels, which may lead to further stress for mommies. Insomnia will also affect your mental health negatively as the stress can progress to anxiety or depression.

Effects Of Progesterone

Similarly, progesterone levels increase during pregnancy and drop significantly after giving birth. Progesterone is one of the sex hormones regulating your body’s menstrual cycle. After ovulation, your progesterone levels will increase to signal your body to thicken the uterus lining and lessen muscle contractions. These simple changes promote fertility.

During pregnancy, both the placenta and your body are secreting progesterone. This increase is needed because progesterone helps maintain your pregnancy.

Because of progesterone’s high levels during pregnancy, you may feel more anxious and irritable than usual. The connection between progesterone and PMS can explain this negative change in mental health. On the other hand, low levels of this hormone may result in pre-term birth or even miscarriage.

Since progesterone is vital to your baby’s growth and is responsible for maintaining pregnancy, progesterone levels should continuously increase. As a result, your mood changes can continue to worsen. If your mental health becomes severely affected by your pregnancy hormones, it’s time you consult your doctor.

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health During Pregnancy

While you are pregnant, there are many factors that can affect your mood, and the hormones are just some of them. Different women have different bodies, and will thus have different pregnancy experiences. Some can feel more moody and anxious during pregnancy, while others may barely have a change in their mental health.

Shifting to healthier food options will help in your baby’s development and soothe your mind. Always opt for healthy and balanced meals to take care of both your physical and mental health. Aside from having a healthy diet, it is necessary to exercise regularly. You can take on light to moderately-severe exercises to improve you and your baby’s wellness during pregnancy.

You should also surround yourself with loving and supportive people. Having someone willing to understand what you’re going through will help you get through the pregnancy changes.

It is also essential to talk to your doctor. During pregnancy, your doctor will be monitoring your bodily changes, including your hormone levels. They’ll be guiding you throughout your pregnancy, so there’s no need to worry much. Just be sure to communicate with them effectively to help avoid any complications.

Seeking a therapist can also help you and your mental health, especially when your mood swings worsen. A therapist can give you ways to handle the stresses and other mental health inconveniences caused by your pregnancy hormones.

Pregnancy is indeed a challenging process. Your reproductive hormones, such as estrogen and progesterone, will be increasing to support your pregnancy. As a result, there will be changes in both your physical and mental health you’ve never experienced before.

Just remember, every pregnancy is unique, so don’t compare your pregnancy to others. Instead of worrying about your changes, learn how to manage them by seeking support from your family and medical professionals.

 

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Having a baby is one of the most precious and breathtaking parts of your life. Whether the baby is your firstborn or baby number two, this excitement doesn’t change. At the same time, parents should also prepare for new challenges that will come to their lives as a family. You need to think of ways to get all the things done before your baby comes out. When the family is thoroughly prepared, you will have all the opportunity to enjoy your baby’s arrival to the fullest. 

Becoming a parent is a significant life milestone. Most importantly, you do not want to worry and stress yourself when the baby finally comes out. So how would you assure that your family will be ready for the arrival of a newborn baby?

Maintain Communication Within The Family

Keep in mind that maintaining a good relationship with your family reduces the risk of your stress while in pregnancy. Get them involved with the progress of your pregnancy. Whether you are new or old in parenthood, you must continuously learn to adapt to sudden changes.

Build Trust And Patience

As parents, you should maintain your connection with your partner because it helps in building trust and patience. Talking with your partner also helps you to understand each other to prevent any conflicts. However, although misunderstandings are inevitable, proper communication can aid in resolving disagreements quickly. 

Keep in mind, as well, that this is the reason why it is vital to keep good communication when a woman is pregnant. Remember that pregnancy is a phase wherein they experience various emotional ups and downs. So during these times, it might be inevitable to encounter obstacles for couples because of these changes. To avoid further tensions, try to be open about your feelings and communicate sincerely.

Discuss It With Older Siblings

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If you are expecting a second or younger baby, discussing your pregnancy with your older kids is a must. While kids love to meet new members of the family, older kids tend to be jealous and upset when the newborn baby finally arrives. It is typical for older children to react that way because people around him are too focused on the new baby and they tend to feel neglected.

Start by explaining with your kid the arrival of a newborn baby in the family. Try to discuss it the way that they will understand. You have to explain to them that the infant baby requires more attention. To keep your older children feeling left out, they can have specific roles in taking care of the baby. 

Create A Birth Plan

Develop a birth plan ahead of time to lessen the hassle you will encounter in giving birth. In this way, you can pay attention to the arrival of your newborn baby. Basically, it is an outline of your preferences during your labor. What are the things you must plan?

• List the names of possible hospitals or birthing centers you plan to give birth in. You should also have the contact details of your doctor which you can dial when the water breaks.
• Describe your ideal labor environment to look like. For instance, some women want to distract themselves by having music, television, or video around.
• Specify the people you want to be beside you when you deliver your baby.
• Choose what method you want to undergo when giving birth.
• Prepare the necessities you need to bring before your labor and delivery.

Even if we plan ahead, there are still extraordinary events that might come along the way. But, being prepared keeps your thoughts and things organized. Share your birth plan to the people you can count on, such as your partner and your family, so they have an idea on what to do when you give birth.

Prepare The Space Of Your Newborn Baby

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As part of introducing your newborn baby to your older child or husband, dedicate a space for your baby ahead of time. This way, the baby has a specific space at home upon arriving.

The first thing you can do is clean the room you are allocating for your baby. Declutter and organize the furniture and accessories inside the room. You can paint the room, with a calmer and serene color, and choose dimmer lights. Afterwhich, you can now ready the crib, clothes, and other essential stuff for the baby.

Make Use Of Support System 

It is not easy to undergo pregnancy since there are changes that happen in your hormones. Hence, you should be open to your family and relatives. Update them with you and your baby’s status every check-up. If you are fortunate enough, maybe a relative or friend can give you a hand and assist you from giving birth to infant care.

In Summary

It is vital to get yourself and your family ready when you are pregnant. Particular challenges will arise as a new member of the family will come. But, you must plan to minimize the conflicts that these challenges might bring. It’s necessary to maintain a good relationship with your family to create your ideal birth plan.Finally, keeping your loved ones close allows you to gain support in this challenging but exciting phase of parenthood life.

January 20, 2020.

I could never forget this date since it’s when my OB-GYN confirmed that I was already two months pregnant with my first child. It came as a sweet surprise for my husband and me, considering we had only stopped using birth control not too long ago. We did it in hopes of having a baby soon, and so it made us happy to know that we won’t need to wait for long.

The following month passed by for us without a hitch. I did not crave for much except for vanilla ice cream and French fries, so my husband did not have a tough time with me. My morning sickness also went away after the first week; that’s why I could fulfill my work-related obligations as efficiently as before.

The problem only came around March when it was broadcast that the US was poised to have the highest number of COVID-19 cases worldwide. We heard about several patients in other states, but we had no idea how much the virus had spread until that moment. So, my office naturally shut down temporarily to shield both the clients and employees from the pandemic.

I felt incredibly thankful when I received a memo about the latter, considering I was—still am—pregnant and at high risk of catching the coronavirus. However, I knew that staying at home would not be enough to protect myself and my unborn child against the virus. That pushed me to:

Stop Accepting Any Guest At Home

Since I am a people-person, and many relatives live nearby, my husband and I always play host to some of them on the weekends. We typically have a BBQ party at night and chat and play games. It has been going on since we got engaged and started living together, so we were used to this setup.

However, once I learned that the coronavirus could be transmitted by talking to someone, I called our loved ones and informed them that we wouldn’t be accepted guests at this time. It was not because I suspected all of them to be virus carriers; it’s just that I had to get rid of every possibility of testing positive for COVID-19. Luckily, our loved ones understood us, so we would see each other again when the pandemic is over.

Exercise Indoors

Since I do not have a delicate pregnancy, I have continued going to the gym. My instructors only had to modify the exercises so that they would become suitable for my growing belly. Unfortunately, when the gym closed due to the coronavirus, I stopped working out and claimed that it was okay for expectant mothers to do that.

As it turns out, though, exercising is more essential now than ever, especially for pregnant women like me. I need to get rid of internal toxins and strengthen my body so that I won’t catch any disease. Hence, I started doing yoga, Pilates, and other light exercises indoors, and I love its results.

Shop For Everything Online

I was not on board with the idea of shopping for anything online. My mother taught me that I should not buy stuff that I have not touched or seen in person; that’s why I used to handpick meat, fruits, and vegetables.

But now that there is a global health crisis, and my pregnancy makes me prone to illnesses, I have embraced online shopping. I figured that it is better than having COVID-19, so that’s how I get our groceries. My husband merely gets the delivered items at our doorstep when they come, and then we are set for an entire week or so.

Final Thoughts

Protecting your pregnant self against coronavirus is not as challenging as it may seem. The key is to stay at home at all costs to avoid coming near anyone who may have the virus.

Stay safe, mommies!

I cannot express how excited I am for my wife to give birth. It is not our first time to welcome a baby in our family; in truth, it is already the third time. However, each child is always unique in their own way, and I’d love more than anything to meet our new baby girl.

As for the birthing plan, my wife has decided to keep it traditional. Meaning, we will follow the same process that we used for our first two kids. When her contractions come, I will drive my wife to the hospital, let the nurses give her an epidural, and hold her hand the entire time. She has never needed to get a caesarian section, so we don’t have to book an operating room.

However, sometime in March, the news about the COVID-19 pandemic broke out. Our illusion that the virus had not reached the United States yet got shattered. Worse, the highest number of infected individuals were in New York, where we live.

When the quarantine order was issued around the same time, my wife and I tried to think positively. She said, “My due date is still in June. Perhaps the coronavirus will be dead by then.”

I hope and pray for that to happen, but it seems like fate has other plans for the world. Many government officials want to lift the quarantine soon, even though there is no solution for the outbreak yet. This fact affects our birthing plans in various ways.

It Is Scary To Give Birth At The Hospital

When someone tests positive for COVID-19, it’s not as if they get prescription drugs and go home. Instead, they need to stay at the hospital for two to four weeks, sometimes more. That’s the only way for them to avoid spreading the virus to other people.

While it is a smart technique, it also makes it scary to give birth at the hospital. We trust the nurses and doctors to follow the safety protocols, but the coronavirus does not live by any rule. Thus, it can enter anyone’s body and make life challenging.

Even If The Hospital Admits The Expectant Mother, The Husband Can’t Be With Her

I have always stayed on my wife’s side during the birth of our first two children. Unfortunately, the new rule is that the hospital can only let the expectant mother in and nobody else. I can drop her off at the door, but then I need to leave after that.

It is another thorn in our birthing plan, yes. Of course, no wife wants to give birth without her husband in the same room.

We Need To Consider Other Birthing Methods

As mentioned above, our first and only birthing choice for years is going to the hospital and letting the doctors do their job. However, with the pandemic still going on, it seems to be the least appealing option. It forces us to make new plans when my wife is very close to her due date.

Upon consulting the OB-GYNE, she said that we could try a water birth. We won’t need to leave the house; my wife could deliver our baby in the tub. Her pregnancy was not at high risk, so the doctor might be able to coach us from a distance. Though the idea was unconventional for us, we thought it was the best choice considering the circumstances.

Final Thoughts

The coronavirus outbreak had pushed all of us to think outside the box to accomplish similar goals. In my family’s case, we need to choose between letting my wife give birth without me or doing the water birth at home. It will be an understatement to say that this pandemic has genuinely cramped our birthing plan. Despite that, it has not dampened our excitement to meet the newest member of our brood, which can happen anytime this week.

by naturally comes out. There are also some deliveries where there are unforeseen instances that require more attention. Indeed, you cannot expect smooth delivery is different. There are times when the baery every time.  

 

  Continue reading Dealing With Anxiety Before Delivering Your Baby 

 

“Studies show that unsupportive fathers-to-be depress expecting moms more than any other factor, which is not only harmful to their health, but can threaten the health of the unborn child,” according to Dr. Irene Milentijevic, a licensed psychologist. Whatever the intention may be or even though you have the most valid reason for filing one, still, getting a divorce is never a pleasing experience. And it becomes even more complicated when you find out that you’re expecting a baby soon. Such a condition complicates the situation even more. You will be torn between whether to pursue the proceedings or give your spouse another chance for the sake of your unborn child.

Continue reading 6 Reasons To Rethink Divorce During Pregnancy